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 Politics Archive 2018

Donald Trump orders Jeff Sessions to end the Russian probe that Sessions recuse himself from
by Nathan'ette Burdine: August 2, 2018

Welp, Donald Trump (The Donald, Donald PP John) threw himself an OMTT (Old Man Temper Tantrum) yesterday morning. Trump got a hold of one of his electronic devices and tweeted this out:

The only problem with all of this is that Jeff “Alabama Beau” Sessions, or “Mr. Magoo” as Donald PP John likes to call him, had sense enough to recuse himself from the Russian investigation before Donald PP John fired James “Can’t Get It Right” Comey as the FBI director.

Y’all remember all of that whoshawjohn surrounding Comey's firing. Donald PP John had his long time body guard to sashay over to the FBI building to deliver “Can’t Get It Right” a termination letter. Can’t Get It Right wasn’t there, though. He was over in Sunny California talking to FBI agents.

During one of his talks, one of the agents told him to look at the TV and that’s when Can’t Get It Right saw that he was gone as Donald PP John’s FBI director.

Can’t Get It Right got back on the plane headed to D.C. Donald PP John and his crew got shame.

And before I go on, the word is out that… Damn, I forgot that boy’s name. What’s that boy’s name?! Hmm. Well, anyways, the word is out that Donald PP John’s son-in-law is the one who told Donald PP John to fire Can’t Get It Right.

Donald PP John and them, though, blamed Deputy AG Rod “Mouse” Rosenstein because he wrote Can’t Get It Right’s termination letter.

After blaming Mouse for the hell everybody else says was caused by Donald PP John’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. That’s that boy’s name, Jared Kushner!

Well after all of that, Donald PP John went on NBC and told Lester Holt the truth; “It was the Russia probe.” That’s what ol’ Donald PP John there said to ol’ Holt there.

Alabama Beau looked at all of that and was like, “Whew, I’m sho’ glad I gave dat dere Russian probe to dat boy, Rosenstein. I told ‘em back den dat I ain’t just fell off of no turnip truck?!”

Like Alabama Beau, Mouse didn’t just fall “off of no turnip truck” either. Mouse had the presence of mind to know that Donald PP John’s chronic case of diarrhea at the mouth is why he should bring somebody in to be over the Russian investigation. And that somebody he brought in was none other than former FBI Director Robert “The Mueller” Mueller.

Republicans like The Mueller. Democrats like The Mueller, everybody like The Mueller. And everybody told The Donald that he better not fire The Mueller.

They were all like, “The Mueller go then out the White House door you go!” That’s why Donald PP John won’t exercise that option under Article II of the Constitution and fire The Mueller himself.

The Donald knows that if The Mueller goes then he, The Donald, will be impeached and brought up on charges faster than a poor man who forgot to pay for his twenty-five cent bubble gum.

The Republicans and Democrats will use those papyrus paper laws in order to hit Donald PP John with charges.

I mean these laws are so old that they’ll stick you to you. Donald PP John knows this. It’s why he’s throwing an OMTT and telling folks that this is a “rigged witch hunt” and that The Mueller is being ornery towards him because he, The Donald, refused to hire The Muller as the next FBI Director after firing Can’t Get It Right.

I know there are some of y’all wondering why ol’ Donald PP John there threw his OMTT.

Weeeellll, ol’ Donald PP John there is not too happy that Paul “Ukraine Pauly” Manafort is in his second day of trial.

Y’all know Ukraine Pauly?! He took lil’ Corey “Core Core” Lewandowski’s job as Trump’s campaign manager and helped Trump to avoid a republican revolt at the Republican National Committee’s (RNC) Convention during the 2016 Presidential Race.

Donald PP John and his crew have been dissing Ukraine Pauly out in the open, telling folks Donald PP John really didn’t know him and that it was Kellyanne (Kelly Kell) Conway and Steve “GrownMan Cartman” Bannon who helped Donald PP John get over.

In fact, Steve "Chicago" Cortes, who Anna “Miami” Navarro loves telling off on CNN, and Rudy “Where the cameras” Giuliani are always downplaying the good job Ukraine Pauly did in helping Donald PP John get in a position to be in the position he is as the president of the United States who’s about to be Nixoned.

Come to think of it, it was Chicago Steve who was on CNN the other night, I can’t remember which show, but he was on telling Jeffrey “Keebler Elf” Toobin that Ukraine Pauly is the one who had the Russian connections and that Donald PP John knew nothing about nothing.

But when Donald PP John and his crew get behind close doors, it’s a whole nother story. They start crying and typewriting on their nails, worrying so over the fact that Ukraine Pauly will more than likely be headed to the pokey forever and ever and ever.

That’s why Where the Cameras tried to downplay Donald PP John’s tweet with that ol’ 1A line; “I got the right to say somethings and I’m gonna say it.”

Or, as the former federal prosecutor who made his career from ending mob bosses’ careers and is now supporting a man who’s filed as many bankruptcies as he’s had wives put it to CNN’s Dana Bash; “The president was expressing his opinion on his favorite medium, Twitter, for asserting his First Amendment rights.”

Ol’ Rudy Giuliani came out with that side-ways explanation because he knows how this is going to end due to his own role as a former federal prosecutor who ended high profile figures’ careers with the same very ending that awaits Donald PP John Trump Sr.

Welp, sucks for him! Cheerios!

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