Nathan'ette Burdine's The Nyle Magazine

  News     Politics       Entertainment      Under the Radar      Double-Talking            

 News Archive 2017

Last Week's News Was Mostly Bad
by Nathan'ette Burdine: December 26, 2017

Last week’s news was mostly bad with some good news sprinkled here and there. Here’s the bad news first. The Republicans passed a tax bill into law that is going to make the middle class the new poor and turn the poor into beggars.

The Obamacare individual mandate was repealed, but nothing was put in its place.

Yeah, we all know where that money is going to come from. And that money is coming from y’all’s paychecks and the entitlement programs that help so many of the entitled folks who look like the majority of folks in the Republican Party.

Paul Ryan thinks American women can contribute to the prosperity of the country by spreading their legs more and pumping out more babies who will one day grow up and contribute to the labor force.

Speaking of Speaker Ryan, the holier than thou fella also thinks it’s really a good thing that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) will be open to drilling.

Poor thing, bless his heart. He just doesn’t understand the ecosystem and how if you mess up the ANWR than you increase the chances of there being a whole new population of predators and prey that will fuck it up for all other living organism on this planet one day.

It’s the survival of the fittest. There’s a reason why God made the ANWR the way that He did and decided not to have oil shooting out of the frozen ice and the water.

But Ryan thinks this will be good for a couple of hundred jobs that won’t last one hot flat second. I guess that’s that wonk in him.

Ol’ Donald J. Trump is in knee deep hot shit. Donald Trump and his crew are running around telling folks that Special Counsel Robert Muller is trying to do to him what he, the Russians, the FBI, and former FBI Director James Comey allegedly did to Hillary Clinton; which is to snatch the presidency from up under her feet.

After all of that hell broke loose, Donald Trump main man in Congress, House Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes, decided to run around like a thief in the night again investigating the FBI.

Now, when I say Nunes was running around like a thief in the night again, I’m referring to that time when poor ol’ Sean Spicer there was hiding out in the bushes after Nunes left the Eisenhower Building; reportedly looking at documents that could clear Trump of any wrong that he is increasingly looking as if he has done.

The United Nations (UN) decided to condemn the U.S. because they really don’t like Donald Trump, but they say it was due to the Trump administration recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.

U.S. Ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley took names but folks were like, “Bye Felicia.” Speaking of “Bye Felicia,” Omarosa is getting a book deal. The sound of crickets is all we’ll hear after that one.

Donald Trump was forced to stand at a podium and read the intelligence community’s national security strategy.

That made his PD (Political Daddy) Vladimir Putin mad as hell because the national security strategy does not include “Making America Great Again” by being friends with him.

Kim Jong-un says he has nuclear weapons, but is calling anyone a lie who says he has biological weapons. Yeah, go figure on that one. Kim Jong-un likes the nukes, but hates the biological weapons.

A fella named Robby Strong gave Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin horse shit for Christmas.

Robby Strong reasoned that because Steve Mnuchin, Donald Trump, and the Republicans are keeping up so much shit than shit is what they should have for Christmas.

Now, here’s some good news. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced they’re going to be married on May 19, 2018.

They released their engagement photos and the photos looked pretty, pretty, pretty good as Larry David would say.

The Golden Globes will be on next week. Hopefully, it will be good.

comments powered by Disqus