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 News Archive 2018

MPRRaccoon talks about her two day trip
up the UBS Tower
by Nathan'ette Burdine: June 14, 2018

Hi, the humans call me MPRRaccoon but you can call me Rey’c! I’m the one who was chilling on the window seal at the top of the UBS Tower.

On Monday, I went out for a walk. I happen to stop by the UBS Tower, looked up, and decided to exercise my little muscles by climbing up the building.

So, I did some stretches for about 10 minutes; leg stretches, arm stretches, that stuff.

After stretching my muscles, I took a sip of water that Ted was so kind to give me and then I headed up the building.

I thought about following Ted in, but the stairs are just too easy. For me, walking the stairs is like humans just walking across the living room; no fun whatsoever.

So, I quickly ditched the stairs idea and decided to head up the more challenging way.

I stood back, waited about a minute or two for the few humans to move out the way, and then up she went.

Boy, was it easy; too easy. It was sooo easy! I got up to the 23rd floor in less than 10 minutes!

If only moms and pops coon could see me. Come to think of it, it’s good they didn't see me because they would've tanned my hide fo' sho.’

It was so much fun, though, watching the humans cute little worried faces. They’re so predictable. They brought me some food. It was a little dry, though. Cat food is what I think it was.

I didn’t eat that, unh-unh, no way Jose! Not me! Despite what you humans think, we critters don’t eat everything.

I wish they had done like the folks across town and brought me up a hamburger and French fries; not from IHOb of course.

I wouldn’t eat those folks’ pancakes, let alone their hamburgers. Wendy’s, yeah, I like their burgers and fries; tasty!

But you get what you get. Well, I’m back home now. Where’s mom and dad?!

Oh, they’re sleeping. Shhh, we have to be quiet. I don’t want to wake them up. It’s best they stay asleep because I’ve had a long two days with the human folks and I need my rest too.

Boooyyy, I’m gonna get in trouble for sho’ after this one.

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