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Pick up lines to use when you
get to Hell
by Nathan'ette Burdine: March 15, 2018

Some of y’all are going to Hell. Y’all know who y’all are. So, it’s best to just prepare yourselves for y’all’s stay in Lucifer’s kingdom. And the one way to prepare yourselves is to learn Hell’s lingo so y’all will be able to attract folks who will talk to y’all while y’all are down there.

Now keep in mind, not everybody down in Hell likes to talk. Some folks want to do their time so they can go on and try again in this life. Other folks don’t want to talk to you because they just don’t like talking. They are the quiet type.

You know, the ones you can just look at and know that if somebody says the wrong thing to them then they will do something, like murder, which leads to them getting a ticket to Hell after their ticket is punched on this side. Yeah, those type of folks.

Then there are the folks who just want to talk to you so they can get all of your business. Stay away from them too.

They will have everybody around the roast the Hitler bonfire talking about you. That conversation will go a little something like this, “Chile, she just got here. She didn’t like to do. That’s why she’s here. People up there tried to get her to do and she didn’t want to do. Not doing will get you down here girl. You can’t be keeping the gifts God gave you to yourself.” That’s how that will go.

But don’t worry, there are some nice folks in Hell. They just got there because Heaven was overcrowded. They’re in the good part of Hell where there are Florida like temperatures and sandy beaches.

Don’t worry. The sand doesn’t have glass, deadly scorpions, and sticky pairs in it. These are the white, tan sandy beaches. It’s the good part of Hell.

The folks who are in the good part of Hell are the folks you use the pickup lines on. They’ll be a good conversation piece, and they’ll make your stay in Hell pleasant.

And just for fun, I’ll give y’all my pick-up line. Here it is, “I committed all seven deadly sins just to be with you again.”

Oh, here’s another one, “I’ve never met an angel who can make my love burn the way that you do.” And this one, “I’ll go through all 9 circles of Hell just for you.”

Disclaimer-I am not responsible for anybody who uses these lines and still ends up without anybody in Hell. So, don’t send me any notices from Hell saying that I am liable for you being lonely in Hell. It’s Hell and loneliness may be your eternal punishment. So cheerios and good luck on finding somebody to talk to once you arrive in Hell.

Now go on and read and then write down some of the pickup lines listed below that y’all can use once y’all make it to Hell.

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