If any of y’all watched The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (LSSC) last Friday night, y’all got a chance to see Ms. Bootsie.
Ms. Bootsie is Jake the Producer’s mama. Her legal name is Robin Plunket. And yes folks, Jake is really a producer. He works over there at LSSC and his mama is funnier than a mutha!
Ms. Bootsie took time out of her also busy day to be an uninformed correspondent. An uninformed correspondent doesn’t sound as bad as it does. All an uninformed correspondent is is a person who doesn’t spend all day following the ins and outs of politics. They shoot from the hip.
Folks like Ms. Bootsie know who they will vote for just based on
what a politician looks like and sounds like. That’s why when Jake the
Producer asked his mama, “Do you like Trump,” Ms. Bootsie responded with one sentence: “No, I just can’t stand the guy.” It’s simple, straightforward, from the hip.
An uninformed correspondent like Ms. Bootsie doesn’t need to know all the bills a politician has sponsored, voted for or against, or the causes he is attaching his name to at the time.
The only thing folks like Ms. Bootsie need to know is what you look like and what you sound like in order to know if you are a soldier in the army of the Lord, or if you are a sanctified sinner who’s making money off of folks by being a pretender; which is what Donald Trump does. That’s why he had those five bankruptcies and lawsuits from Trump University he has had to pay out multi-millions for.
I digress. Let me get back on topic here. Like I was saying, “folks like Ms. Bootsie shoot straight from the hip.” They don’t want to hear no lip or see anything on the Twit; as Ms. Bootsie calls the Twitter. Lip plus Twit won’t get a politician any votes from folks who are like the uninformed correspondent. No sir.
That’s why I was a little worried for this 31-year-old fella by the
name of Max Rose who is running to be the next congressman representing the
Staten Island area in New York. He’s running in the same district where that
Mike Grimm fella represented before he got put out of Congress after all of
that wrongdoing he did.
Grimm tried getting his job back but folks decided they didn’t want his criminal kind representing them. So,
they stuck with the fella named Dan Donovan; who currently holds that seat.
Donovan will be facing the young Army veteran Rose; who's tryiing to turn
the district from red to blue.
Ms. Bootsie and the LSSC crew made it on over there to Staten Island to Max Rose’s fundraiser.
Before heading on in, Ms. Bootsie had to do her introduction; letting folks know she is a correspondent with The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
Now, y’all have to remember, Ms. Bootsie is in her fifties or sixties. She remembers the days when it was The Late Night Show with David Letterman. She’s happy the folks over at LSSC employ her son Jake, but she’s a David Letterman gal through and through.
She doesn’t know much about Stephen Colbert and his crew except that they provide a paycheck for her son Jake. That’s why when it came time to say what show she was with, Ms. Bootsie had some stumbles there.
On the first go round, she forgot the “with.” Then she called it The Late Night Show. Ms. Bootsie last mess up before going inside the fundraiser was getting the headliner of the fundraiser name wrong. She called Max Rose Mack Rose. But after that, she got it right: “Hi my name is Bootsie. I’m here with The Late Show with Stephen Colbert in Staten Island to talk politics with Max Rose.”
After getting the intro down, Ms. Bootsie and the LSSC crew headed on inside and she did what uninformed correspondents do; which is to shoot straight from the hip.
Ms. Bootsie spotted two women, drinking, talking, and having a good time. She went up to them and asked them what they thought about the Democrats taking back Congress.
One of the women wanted to continue enjoying her drink, so she told
Ms. Bootsie to holler at her friend. The friend told Ms. Bootsie that it’s
going to be a “Blue Sandy."
Ms. Bootsie heard that and said, “I guess that sums it up.” Jake, being the informed constituent he is, yelled back at his mama, “No, it doesn’t!”
Ms. Bootsie is ol’ school. So she wasn’t going to take any lip from a youngin’ she pushed out, breast feed, and carried on her hip.
Ms. Bootsie put Jake the Producer back in his place with, “YES IT DOES! Just god-damnit you!”
Being the bright young fella that he is, Jake the Producer just laughed it off and moved on to the next person who happen to be a fella who was holding up the wall.
After spotting the holding up the wall fella, Ms. Bootsie approached him and asked him about North Korea:
"What about North Korea? Who is that with the nuclear bombs right, Jim Su
Song? Wait, what’s his name, Kim Jong-un ? (Laughing) I murdered the English
Language, but I know what I’m trying to say.
So do you think we need to be scarred of him?"
"No, we don’t need to be afraid of crazy people."
"Yeah, I’m a little afraid of the crazies."
Although I’m not scared of crazy folks, I know what Ms. Bootsie is saying. A person just never knows what a crazy person will do.
But y’all see, the thing about crazy folks is they’ll stop doing all of that carrying on and acting crazy and whatnot if you whupp their crazy asses. Ass whuppins keep crazy folks in line.
After talking about the crazies, Ms. Bootsie met up with the man himself, Max Rose.
Ms. Bootsie let Rose know that somebody has to do something about the rising cost of groceries. Here’s what she told the young fella:
“Thirty-four years I’ve been married. When I went to the
supermarket 34-years ago, I use to come out of the store with 15
bags for a hundred bucks. Now I come out of the store with 12
bags for three hundred bucks. Something’s gotta give. I’m
getting nothing for my money.”
This is true! And it’s not just the grocery store where folks are paying more. Twenty-years ago, all it took to fill up a tank of gas was $10; never more than $15. But now, a person needs a little over $40 if he wants to get a tank of gas.
Rose says the problem is that the wages aren’t moving up. I agree. Evidence of this are those greedy no gooders who are raising the cost in order to increase the demand and fatten their wallets.
The “informed” economists will say it’s the market; as if the market is a supernatural being we humans can’t control.
The problem is that the market is controlled by the humans who are greedy no gooders.
The no gooders use your need of something, like food or gas in your car, in order to make money.
The no gooders know you need to eat. And because you need to eat, you’re going to pay that $4.00 for that loaf of bread.
The no gooders know you are unable to go to work without gas in the car and that you’ll pay $40 or more to get you from work and back.
That’s those no gooders. They use your need in order to feed their greed.
And just like the regular common folks who are uninformed, Ms. Bootsie recognizes all of this.
That’s why she should get more air time on LSSC because she can speak the language that common folks understand.