Nathan'ette Burdine's The Nyle Magazine

  News     Politics       Entertainment      Under the Radar      Double-Talking            

Stephen Colbert and guest Wanda Sykes on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert;
Wanda Sykes talked
to Stephen Colbert
about her wife Alex,
their children, and her Netflix special Not Normal
Snapchat should be fix now
Snapchat Down;
Snapchat users tweeted out
jokes about the app being down

Connie Britton Abby Clark 9-1-1;

Connie Britton 9-1-1 GIPHY photo 

FOX's new show 9-1-1 isn't about
answering calls about your missing
chicken mcnuggets
by Nathan'ette Burdine: January 10, 2018

The first episode of FOX’s new show “9-1-1” let’s folks know that the 9-1-1 operator isn’t there to answer any calls about a person’s missing chicken mcnuggets.

When the 9-1-1 operator ask, “What’s your emergency?” You better have an emergency or you’ll hear a click on the other side of the line; just ask the lady who complained to 9-1-1 operator Abby Clark (Connie Britton) that she didn’t get all nine pieces of her chicken mcnuggets.

Clark told the woman, “Ma’am, it’s against the law to call 9-1-1 with a non-emergency. Eat your nuggets, get some perspective, and get the hell off my line!”

And she’s right. 9-1-1 is not there to help folks get their chicken mcnuggets. They are there to save lives. These folks deal with serious situations like a baby being stuck in a toilet pipe, a python choking its owner, and robberies in the good neighborhoods.

Now there are some situations where you just can’t help a person. Case in point is when that gal jumped to her death.

Fireman Bobby Nash (Peter Krause) tried helping the woman. He even told her he’s been where she is and that he found his way back.

But she wasn’t listening to any of that. The woman told Nash, “No one can help me.” Yep, she wanted to go and she went. Whether she went upstairs or downstairs, I don’t know.

But I do know she’s not here anymore and that her act of killing herself weighed heavily on Nash so to the point that he had to go and tell the priest about it.

Nash makes it to the confessional before the young priest, who Nash sees running towards him, does.

Once in, they do the whole Father, Son, Holy Ghost and cross thing. As soon as Nash says the words, “my last confession,” the young priest’s ring tone of Katy Perry’s “You’re a Firework” starts ringing.

The young priest apologizes and tells Nash it’s his first day. The first day on any job is hard; especially when you’re working for God.

Nash tells him that’s ok and they go and sit out in the pews. While there, Nash tells him about how his coping methods of drugs, alcohol, and pain killers really didn’t help him to deal with the deaths that occurred on his watch.

“The only way to survive the job is to find a way to cope with the ones you lose…We all find ways to cope,” is what Nash says to the priest.

For Nash, his coping method is the church. Others like Fireman Evan “Fire Hose Buck” Buckley (Oliver Star), they use sexual healing in order to deal with the pain their feeling.

But oh, little “Fire Hose Buck Bucky” there is going to learn real quick that like alcohol and drugs sex is not the best way to cope with whatever it is a person may be going through.

In any emergency, the 9-1-1 operator is the first line of defense. What a person tells him/her will determine whether help arrives on time.

And once the police and fire fighters arrive, they have to use their knowledge, skills, and instincts in order to try and resolve the situation quickly and peacefully.

Take the situation with the baby stuck in the toilet pipe. One of the things they had to do was make sure this wasn’t a joke.

The fella who called about the noise coming from his wall looked like all he did all day was hear noises in the wall.

Nash placed his ear to the wall and used the stethoscope to hear a heartbeat. After determining that the fella wasn’t a “Crazy Pete,” he let his team know that they needed to move fast and smart in order to safely remove the infant from the wall.

Fire Hose Buck Bucky, who means well but doesn’t know any better, grabbed an axe and was about to axe his way to the infant.

“Stand back, I got this,” is what Fire Hose Buck Bucky told everybody. Nash quickly grabbed the axe and reminded the young fella that there’s an infant in the wall and the best way to get to the infant is with an electrical saw; which he sent Fire Hose Buck Bucky downstairs to get.

While on his way downstairs, Fireman Han (Kenneth Choi) decided he would help him out by telling him “to find some common sense while you’re down there.”

Fire Hose Buck Bucky didn’t find any common sense, but he did find the electrical saw. He rushed back to the bathroom and gave the saw to Nash.

The fire fighters removed the pipe from the wall, placed it on the table, grabbed some lubricant and placed it around the infants head and feet, and gently pushed her out of the pipe.

Nash was going to take the infant down stairs to the ambulance, but Fire Hose Buck Bucky convinced him that he is “twice as fast” and could get her down there quicker; which he did.

While the fire fighters were busy getting the infant to the ambulance, Officer Athena Cage (Angela Bassett) went knocking on doors, looking for the infant’s mother.

She was able to locate the young girl after she followed a trail of blood to an empty apartment and saw the young girl’s father hurry into his apartment.

Cage convinced the young girl’s father that the young girl needs to be taken to the hospital.

They hurry downstairs and come up behind Fire Hose Buck Bucky who isn’t too happy to see them.

“No, is that the mother. No, screw her,” Fire Hose Buck Bucky yells out. Cage quickly tells him that the mother is also a child and she needs care as well.

Not moved, Fire Hose Buck Bucky responds with, “If this baby dies, it’s on you.” As Cage is closing the door, she looks coldly and sternly at Fire Hose Buck Bucky.

Nash, who’s in the ambulance, recognizes that Fire Hose Buck Bucky has scared the young girl half to death.

Nash calms the young girl down by taking her hand and placing it on her infant’s hand, letting her know that everything will be ok.

Now remember, Fire Hose Buck Bucky is young and he means well. So, when he says about the infant’s mother, “No, screw her.” He does it out of the goodness of his heart.

The only problem is that when a person is a member of the emergency crew, he has to place what’s in his heart aside for what his job calls for him to do.

And what the job calls for little ol’ Fire Hose Buck Bucky there to do is to treat every life as valuable.

After everyone arrives at the hospital and mother and infant are taken in, Cage rolls up and chastises poor ol’ little Fire Hose Buck Bucky there about his behavior.

“Hey, you do not get to choose who lives and who dies. That mother was no less of a child than her baby. You’re gonna get someone killed. I promise you the next time you screw up, it will be your last,” Cage tells Fire Hose Buck Bucky.

Y’all remember, Fire Hose Buck Bucky is young and he has a lot to learn. He was born in the 90s. So…yeah. Having said that, Fire Hose Buck Bucky does get in trouble again.

There is a 9-1-1 call about a hungry python choking its owner so it can have some dinner.

Upon arriving and seeing the den of snakes the woman has in her home, most of the emergency crew is like let God do whatever He intends to do here.

In fact, Han tells Nash, “Oh my God, Bobby I can’t do snakes. They scare the crap out of me. That scene from Conan the Barbarian with the giant snake, it traumatized me for life. I can’t, I can’t.”

Firewoman Henrietta (Aisha Hinds) adds her two cents in it and tells Nash they should all just let Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest” take its course and be on their way.

Or, as she put it, “It’s doing what nature intended for it to do. Nobody told this fool to bring a snake into her house.”

Nash told Henrietta they couldn’t let nature take its course and that the human’s life is more important than the creature from the Garden of Eden.

Being the impatient young man he is, Fire Hose Buck Bucky decided that all of that chit-chat and trying to unwrap that big behemoth of a creature from around that woman’s neck was too much for him to take.

So, he got the axe he was going to use to chop the infant out of the wall and used it to chop off the serpent’s head.

The woman, who obviously had bonded with the creature, was sad and said in a low concerning voice, “Spartacus.” Yes, she named the snake after the Thracian gladiator, Spartacus. Mm-hmm.

While unwrapping Mr. Spartacus from around his owner’s neck, Fire Hose Buck Bucky decided that he would choose “the safe and more attractive one” to save.

That calmed the woman down and made her forget about her pet, Spartacus. Knowing what was about to happen, Nash looked at the two and let the woman know that Animal Control would be coming to her home to see about the den of snakes she has.

As expected, Fire Hose Buck Bucky and the woman decided he needed to give his “snake” some exercise in her “garden.”

Nash, found the two in “heavenly bliss” on the roof. Fire Hose Buck Bucky asked Nash how he found him and Nash told him about the GPS on the truck.

That GPS will get you every time; just ask the folks on the show “Cheaters.” Fire Hose Buck Bucky told Nash that he has a self-diagnosed sexual addiction.

To that, Nash responded that he was sick ‘n’ tired of Fire Hose Buck Bucky “swinging” his “dick around” in every “hole” he found and that he could take the first train smoking because his hide was fired.

Mm-hmm, Fire Hose Buck Bucky’s “fire hose” got him fired. However, all is not lost for ol’ Fire Hose Buck Bucky there.

When the devil closes one door, he always creates a situation that leads to God opening up another door; giving man a second chance. And Fire Hose Buck Bucky would get his second chance.

A 9-year-old girl called 9-1-1 to report a break in at her home. The little girl didn’t know the address or her phone number.

Right quick folks, remember to tell your children where they live and what the number is to the new house. Also, take your cell phone with you.

You never know what emergency may come up. Plus, it makes the po’ po’s and fire department’s jobs a lot easier when they are trying to find you so they can help you.

Luckily for the little girl, Clark is a very smart woman. She and the folks at the 9-1-1 dispatch center were able to locate the house by using the nearby cell phone towers to see where the young girl’s cell phone signal was pinging off of.

Also, Clark continued asking the child important questions about the neighborhood like if there are any toys, bicycles, or vehicles nearby that she can describe; which the child did.

She told them about her pink bicycle which helped them to locate the house. Now, here’s how Fire Hose Buck Bucky gets his second chance. Cage needed a fire truck and the only one available was the truck driven by Fire Hose Buck Bucky.

Needless to say, Cage wasn’t too happy when she saw him. “She (Henrietta) sent you,” is what Cage said to Fire Hose Buck Bucky.

But hey, you work with who you have to work with. Cage went around the back, looking for the child. While she was searching the property, the mother showed up.

Fire Hose Buck Bucky pulls the mother to the side so that she wouldn’t get caught up in any cross fire. The robbers see the child but the 9-1-1 operator manages to stop them, for the moment, from harming her.

Clark tells the robbers, “This is 9-1-1 operator Abby Clark…This emergency is yours. I’m prepared to help you escape.”

The robber asked her why she’s willing to aid and abet him in a crime and she tells him it’s all about the kid there. The robber hesitates at first.

But then, Cage gets him to do as she wants by telling him that he can wait for all of that hell coming his way or he can get moving.

Well, he was right to hesitate because Clark got him moving right towards hell’s way; hell being Officer Athena Cage.

The robber runs back into the house, grabs the little girl, drags her outside, she bites him, and he lets her go and jumps on a motorcycle.

He tries to get away but a police car comes up and blocks his path. So he turns around, and starts shooting towards Officer Cage.

Fire Hose Buck Bucky sees what’s going on and he quickly jumps into action. Fire Hose Buck Bucky grabs the right fire hose and knocks the robber off the motorcycle.

And being the victim that criminals always like to portray themselves as, he starts crying about the pain his ass feels.

But, nobody cares. He got what he deserved. Office Cage calls Nash and tells him how Fire Hose Buck Bucky saved the day.

Nash decides he’ll give ol’ Fire Hose Buck Bucky another shot. And that’s what 9-1-1 is all about.

They are there to help folks during those emergencies whereby they may not have had a second chance if it wasn’t for someone staying on the line with them and sending help to see them through.

In the end, all anyone can do is hope and pray that whatever the emergency is, absence of missing chicken mcnuggets, that he/she will get his/her second chance.

comments powered by Disqus