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Vice Principals Neal Gamby;

Vice Principals Neal Gamby GIPHY

Gamby reclaims his position as
vice principal at North Jackson High
by Nathan'ette Burdine: October 8, 2017

Gamby is back up and at it again! And his first order of business is finding out who shot him.

As y’all remember, the last time we saw ol’ Gamby he was lying on his back, looking up towards heaven’s way, praying that God wouldn’t call him home that day.

Blood was oozing out of Gamby’s shoulder, he was slobbing from the side of his mouth, and his eyes were rolling back in his head.

He looked like a goner for sure. But low and behold, the good Lawd decided it would be best to just leave ol’ Gamby right here with us.

The first actual confirmation that Gamby is still here amongst the living comes when he’s shown laid up in a bed, in his ex-wife Gale and her man’s Ray house, surrounded by filth, tossing and turning over the nightmare he was having about North Jackson High going to hell in a handbasket due to him not being there to keep everybody and everything in line.

Gamby is awakened by his daughter Janelle from his nightmarish state.

He asked her, “What the hell’s going on?” Janelle tells him that he was “screaming in” his “sleep again.” Gamby, of course, denies this and instead blames his “fragile” state on some “burritos supreme” that he had for dinner last night.

And y’all wouldn’t be far off if y’all are thinking Gamby’s blaming his late night sweats and nightmares on the burritos supreme is his way of complaining about the care he’s getting while at his ex-wife and her man’s house.

So to say that Gamby is not too happy that the shooting has led to him being in hell after all will be an understatement.

But hey, I guess that’s the punishment a shepherd for the devil gets after keeping up so much ruckus with his number one co-hort, Russell, who, by the way, is now the principal of North Jackson High.

So yeah, although the good Lawd decided to leave Gamby upright, He is giving him his comeuppance due to all the hell Gamby caused Dr. Belinda Brown to go through.

Now mind you, Gamby is not thinking about the fact that he and Russell used a tape that they made of Dr. Brown being drunk off gin and pissing and falling out on a cop’s car in order to force her to resign.

No, Gamby isn’t thinking along those lines. Feeling sorry about burning down Dr. Brown’s house and then forcing her to resign her principal position so that he could creep right into it is just not something Gamby is interested in doing.

As far as Gamby is concern, Dr. Brown is to blame for all of this. Let ol’ Gamby tell it, he wouldn’t be laying up in his ex-wife and her man’s house recovering from a bullet in his ass if Dr. Brown didn’t accept the principal job at North Jackson High.

As he said while sitting in a wheel chair, looking at his CSI make-shift board, “Dr. Brown, Dr. Brown, Dr. Brown she did this.”

Russell, however, tells Gamby that when it comes to Dr. Brown, he needs to leave well enough alone.

Russell says to Gamby, “Precious torched our cars and popped a fucking cap in your ass, but is that what you gonna to tell the cops?

You want them to uncover all the fucked up shit that we did?! Last time, you need to move forward.”

Moving forward is something that Gamby is just not going to do. That’s why with his mind still heavily on Dr. Brown Gamby makes his way back to North Jackson High where he finds the school is functioning just fine without him. Russell is the interim principal.

There’s a new vice principal named Nash. The students and teachers are happy. And most folks don’t seem to mind the metal detectors and security guard station at the school’s front entrance.

Gamby, on the other hand, is so mad about how well things have been going at North Jackson High during his absence that he goes around the school hunting for any information he can get about Dr. Brown’s whereabouts.

He lucks up when he runs into the cafeteria cook, Dayshawn. Dayshawn, who also tells Gamby he’s the one who found him in piss and sweat, lets him know that the school’s secretary, Ms. Swift, and Dr. Brown were pretty close.

Upon hearing this, Gamby goes hopping out the school, with his cane, trailing behind Swift.

Once he catches up to her, he yells at her and uses his cane to beat off the driver side mirror of somebody else’s car.

This proves enough to scare the important info about Dr. Brown out of Swift. Swift goes back to her desk, gets Dr. Brown’s address, and hands it to Gamby.

Gamby then limps to his truck and goes on down the road in search of Dr. Brown. Gamby finds Dr. Brown at her house.

While there, he stops and watches the house for a while. Dr. Brown and her family appear, get into the car, and head on down the road to the Chinese restaurant; which Gamby follows them to.

After arriving at the restaurant, Gamby goes and stands off in a corner and waits for Dr. Brown, and her family to get comfortable at the table.

Once Gamby sees that Dr. Brown and her family are comfotably seated, he hands a note to a waitress to give to Dr. Brown.

The waitress gives the note to Dr. Brown, who then turns around, gets up, and goes to the bathroom where Gamby is.

And being the mitch that he is, Gamby hides behind the bathroom door.

It turns out not to be too good an idea. Not only is Gamby hiding behind the only door that folks have to use to come in and get out of the bathroom, but he almost gets himself knocked out after Dr. Brown pushes the bathroom door so hard that it comes a few inches away from hitting him upside his head.

After Dr. Brown sees Gamby holding up the wall, she says, “You piece of shit. You creepin’ on me while I’m trying to have a family dinner?! I ought to beat yo’ ass.”

Gamby tells her he knows that she’s the one who caused him to piss and sweat all over himself.

He raises his hand and says to her, “Calm down. As you can see, I have no weapons. I’m unarmed. You feel bad about shooting me?” Dr. Brown stops and looks at Gamby like he’s the dumbest mofo alive. She then calmly tells him, “I didn’t shoot yo’ ass.”

This, of course, doesn’t sit well with Gamby. Gamby, who’s been practicing this scene for some time now, tells Dr. Brown to give him a “yes” or “no” answer, which she doesn’t do.

He then tries doing a Dr. Schultz from Django Unchained, but that malfunctions and the gun slides out of his hand.

So he grabs the knife, out of his cane, and tells Dr. Brown to kick the gun away from her.

Dr. Brown does as Gamby tells her and then she ask if he is gonna send her on to the “Upper Room.” He responds no and that he just wants to “put two bullets” in her so she can “piss herself.”

Dr. Brown quickly becomes aggravated at the degree of stupidity that Gamby is displaying and lets him know that there are other folks who more than likely want him out of the picture.

And interim Principal Lee Russell is the main folk who Dr. Brown tells Gamby has more than enough reason to remove him from the entire equation.

Dr. Brown enlightens Gamby by telling him, “You a bigger fool than I thought you were. Have you never really considered why you got shot and Russell didn’t?”

Gamby didn’t think about the fact that he had been laying up in his ex-wife and her man’s home recovering from his bullet wounds, while Russell gallivanted around town in a baby, teal blue convertible.

Ol’ Gamby didn’t let it cross his mind that his partner in crime has a brand new principal office and a brand new home in the real good neighborhood.

That’s why, with a confused look, Gamby asked Dr. Brown, “What are you talking about?”

And Dr. Brown being the woman she is explained in the simplest, clearest way that she possibly could what it was she was “talking about:” “You got gunned down. He got the principal’s job. I mean he’s driving a BMW. Isn’t it really strange how everything worked out for Russell?”

Gamby stood, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as he thought about what Dr. Brown had said.

The next day Gamby set his sights on Russell and his spanking brand new life that came about after Gamby got shot.

Gamby powerwalked his way out to he and Russell’s hiding spot, in the woods, behind the school’s cafeteria.

As soon as he laid his eyes on Russell, he just came out and asked him, “Lee Russell, did you shoot me?” Confused by the question, Russell quickly responded with, “Did I do what?”

Not fazed by Russell’s confusion, Gamby shoots back by again asking him if he put those bullets in his ass.

At this point, Russell is mad as hell at what he’s hearing. Russell can’t believe Gamby would fix his mouth to ask him if he’s the one who left him in a pool of blood, piss, and sweat. “…I dare you Neal Gamby. I helped you recover. I cared for you. I wiped your fucking ass, got your shitty little dingle berries all underneath my fucking finger nails,” Russell says to Gamby.

Gamby stood with a, “Hm, I didn’t think about that,” look. Ol’ Gamby decided that any man who would clean the shit out of another man’s ass is a friend indeed.

So he apologized to Russell, “I’m sorry Lee. I just don’t even know what end is up.”

Russell decides that everything is cool between he and Gamby and that it’s time to show him what he’s been working on during his absence.

And what Russell has been working on is gathering info on potential suspects who may have shot Gamby.

Russell’s book of potential suspects includes everybody from Dr. Brown to Gamby’s daughter. Gamby, of course, is not cool with his daughter being labeled a suspect.

He looks over at Russell and says, “Russell, that’s my daughter.” Being the human being he is, Russell reminds Gamby that everybody, excluding himself, are suspects.

Gamby agrees and decides that he better keep an open mind, excluding Russell, when trying to figure out who shot him.

But, before he went full on in finding out who shot him, Gamby had to do one more thing.

And that one more thing was getting his job back as vice principal of North Jackson High. Luckily for Gamby, this didn’t take much.

The new vice principal proves not to be that tough of a lady. During lunch time, she came up against a bunch of bad ass youngins who were more interested in listening to their music than to her yelling.

She screamed and screamed at them to turn the music off, but all they did was drown her out with their laughing and the music.

Seeing that the school was about to become the nightmare he was having, Gamby stepped in and took control the Gamby way.

He grabbed the stereo, threw it down on the ground, and told the youngsters, “The misbehaving, the disrespect, the cursing all that stops right now. If anybody in here fucks around, you’re gonna end up with your tits in a ditch believe that. The time of lawlessness is over. The fun is done. I’m back and I’m ready to put my foot inside someone’s ass.”

Gamby asked the students if he was “understood” and they responded “yes.”

He then turned to Vice Principal Nash and told her, “That’s how it’s done Nash.”

Before Gamby left the cafeteria, he told the students, “Enjoy the rest of your day here at North Jackson High School. Eat your mash potatoes, you jackass.”

And with that, Gamby reclaimed his position as the vice principal of North Jackson High.

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