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The Tweet of God

The Tweet of God's Twitter Avatar 

God was reported to the Twitter
police after He told how Jesus
really feels about getting up
there on that cross
by Nathan'ette Burdine: February 23, 2019

Somebody decided that he or she will spend his or her day filing false tweet reports to the Twitter police against God.

The person didn’t take too kindly to God sharing how His demi-god son, Jesus, really feels about his time spent here on Earth with the humans.

God tweeted:

Twitter didn’t see anything wrong with that tweet:

And why should they? All God is doing is telling y’all that all of the folks in that bible there got it wrong about it being His idea to send Jesus down here on Earth. And that in fact it was Jesus’ idea to come to Earth to play The Cleaner.

Just read God's tweet again:

Mm-hmm, “It took 2,000 years to get him to admit that.”  The “that” that “it took” God “2,000 years to get” Jesus “to admit” to is that it was a dumb idea, to begin with, to waste his precious godly blood for a group of beings who are biologically designed to do nothing but wrong.

Trying to change a human’s DNA strand is like trying to change a leopard’s spots. It just can’t be done. Humans are bad! And they are always hating.

Take Rick Gervais and this other fellas’ tweet about po’ Jesus:

Those two are nothing but haters talking about Jesus getting crossed so he could have a good weekend and that Jesus’ walking on water trick, curing leprosy, and raising his BFF Lazarus from the dead doesn’t compare to Dave Blaine levitating.

Not only can Jesus levitate, but he can elevate folks. How many times have y’all seen David Blaine help somebody move on up from the trailer park to Central Park? Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Y’all ain’t never seen it and y’all ain’t ever gonna see it because David Blaine can’t do the things that my main man Jesus can.

But y’all see, folks like Gervais and that other fella don’t see that because they’re just haters! “Haters,” I tell ya!”

And they’re only hating on Jesus because his Pappy gave him superpowers that their pappies’ couldn’t give to them. God knows humans are haters.

But He, like many parents, didn’t want to stand in the way of His child who wanted to try something new.

So being the caring parent He is, God told the little deity to go for it. Jesus went “for it” and ended up hole-e.

Fast forwards thousands of years later, and Jesus is on the Twitter denying he said anything to his Pappy about his wasted time with human kind:

Despite Jesus’ denials, he can’t get over the fact that God, his Father, is like all parents in that He knows His child.

Therefore, if God says His son, Jesus, is the one who tweet complained to the Twitter po’ po’, then Jesus did indeed Tweet complain to the Twitter po’ po.’

Now, I’m not ripping on Jesus for complaining about his Pappy to the Twitter po’ po.’

I understand that he, like many children, don’t like to admit to their parents when they are wrong and will deny that they did admit what they said they didn’t admit.

I also understand that Jesus tweet snitched on his Pappy because he didn’t want to be subjected to the same level of hate that got him crossed thousands of years ago.

Having said all of that, I must say that Buddha’s tweet is right on point:

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