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 Politics Archive 2018

It does not look like the FBI will be releasing
that report on Brett Kavanaugh
by Nathan'ette Burdine: October 3, 2018

The CNNers are reporting that the FBI spent their time today talking to more folks about Brett Kavanaugh’s “Aw Hell Naw” behavior.

Christine Blasey Ford accused Brett “Full Keg” Kavanaugh of trying to rape her during a party when they were teenagers.

Deborah Ramirez told The New Yorker’s Ronan Farrow and Jane Mayer that Brett “Full Keg” Kavanaugh flashed his dingle ling in front of her face during a party the two attended when they were freshmen at Yale University.

Full Keg has told everybody that he didn’t do anything but get drunk and hang out with PJ (Patrick J. Smith), Togin, and that FFFF fella.

The FBI talked to PJ, by the way. And being the good friend he is, PJ denied knowing anything about anything.

The FBI also talked to Deborah Ramirez, Mark Judge, and Leland Keyser. Keyser is a friend of Ford.

Mark Judge wrote a book titled Wasted: Tales of a Gen X Drunk about his beer days with Brett “Full Keg” Kavanaugh, PJ, Togin, and that FFFF fella.

And low and behold, Kavanaugh lets folks know that Judge’s foggy memory isn’t so foggy after all.

In one of Full Keg’s calendars, he wrote about a party and hoping he and his drunk buddies wouldn’t be too much for the neighbors at the beach house.

Judge used that “foggy” memory of his to write about that party and how Full Keg got so drunk that the alcohol knocked him out.

AP quoted that passage from the book in which a young girl asked Judge if he knew Full Keg, “Bart O’Kavanaugh…heard he pushed in someone’s car the other night.”

Y’all know Judge, he’s honest. The AP quoted Judge as honestly saying to the girl, “Yeah, he passed out on his way back from a party.”

Donald “JOOOHHHNNN” Trump sat there, watching the news, listening to all of this and decided he better shut this down the best way he knows how.

So, Donald John got up and had his people to tell folks that the investigation would be over today and to therefor get over all that those women folks are accusing his Supreme Court Justice Nominee “Full Keg” of doing.

The FBI, however, were like, “Nope. We done found some things and we still finding some things.”

The Senate majority leader and Donald JOOOHHHNNN’s number two  Mitch McConnell (R-KY) have decided that those “some things” aren’t good things and they need to move this thing forward if they want to keep hope alive for Donald JOOOHHHNNN to remain 45.

Therefore, McConnell has scheduled a procedural vote, on Friday, on Full Keg’s nomination and a vote, for Saturday, to confirm Full Keg.

The only problem is that more things, like that police report on Full Keg, keep coming out.

And the more that keeps coming out and the more teenage Full Keg’s calendars keep telling on grown man Full Keg, greater are the chances that more than one Republican says , “unh-unh,” to making Full Keg the first official sloppy drunk Supreme Court justice.

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