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 News Archive 2017

It's as cold as Hades outside
by Nathan'ette Burdine: December 31, 2017

It’s as cold as Hades outside and it won’t get any better this coming week. According to the folks over at The Weather Channel, all of this cold we’ve been “so bless to get” is due to the Arctic cold outbreak.

The Arctic weather has resulted in places like Erie, Pennsylvania, getting a record of greater than 53 inches of snow this week.

Other places that have been as “lucky” as Erie are North Kingsville, Ohio, Redfield, New York, and International Falls, Minnesota.

Old Man Winter decided to spend half the day giving North Kingsville 18.5 inches of snow, while also helping Redfield to set a record by dumping 62.2 inches of snow on the town in two days.

“International Falls, Minnesota , is the coldest place, behind Barrow, Alaska, in the country.

Yet, Old Man Winter decided that wasn’t good enough for him. So, he made International Falls, which is also called the “Icebox of the Nation”, just a little bit colder by dropping the temperature down to
-36 degrees Fahrenheit; making it too cold to breathe.

Our neighbors up North aren’t faring any better. I mean, it was so cold up there in Canada that your joints would get locked up.

Take Toronto, Ottawa, and Armstrong, Ontario as examples. On Tuesday, the temperature in Toronto dropped down to 5 degrees Fahrenheit while the folks in Ottawa had to deal with a temperature of -13 degrees Fahrenheit.

Then there are the poor folks in Armstrong, Ontario. These poor humans had to find a way to move around in a temperature that was -45.0 degrees Fahrenheit .

Although we had a lot of snow, not many of us can say we had to find a way to just be in -13 degrees Fahrenheit or -45.0 degree Fahrenheit temperatures.

Sure, the folks up there in the “Icebox of the Nation” and even Barrow, Alaska, can say it gets that cold where they are all of the time, but in most parts of the U.S.of A it’s not that cold.

I mean, it’s so cold now folks can’t move, speak, or breath. Hell, folks can barely just be with these hellish temperatures we have to deal with.

It makes folks wonder, “What did we do to deserve such a wintry hell?” I tell you, this weather is so bad that it can give you arthritis. And I know folks with arthritis. That stuff hurts, especially when it’s cold!

Their bones get stiff. Their joints lock up and they can’t move. They look like they’ve been placed in a knot and all of that BenGay they have you to rub on their ailing joints just won’t do the trick in this hellish weather.

Unfortunately for us humans, Old Man Winter has decided that he wants to blow his icy breath on us for a little while longer.

And when I say, “a little while longer,” I mean another week. The folks up there in New York, however, aren’t paying Old Man Winter and is icy breath any never mind.

They’re all bundled up, huddled up, and ready for that ball to drop. They don’t care that the wind chill will make it feel like 0 degrees Fahrenheit up there.

They want to see that ball drop and by God they’re going to see that ball drop! Folks will be out there shaking and trembling and screaming, “Happy New Year!”

Despite the fact that the majority of the country is sitting in a freezer, there is one place where Apollo continues to drive his chariot and that place is the Golden State and the Sunshine State.

That’s right folks! California and Florida are warm compared to the rest of the country. California will have temperatures ranging from 44 degrees Fahrenheit to 64 degrees Fahrenheit while Florida will have temperatures ranging from 47 degrees Fahrenheit to 65 degrees Fahrenheit.

The warmest places in California and Florida will be the states’ southern regions. Yeah, I’m definitely California dreaming and beaming while thinking about all of that Sunshine in Florida right now.

If only I could buy a plane ticket and go to one or the other. Oh well, I’ll just have to tough it out with the rest of the folks up here in the north.

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