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 Under the Radar Archive 2021

Man fleeing the police driving over 100 mph crashes girlfriend’s Maserati SUV under the freeway
by Nathan'ette Burdine: April 15, 2021

Fleeing the police is one crime. Driving over 100 mph while fleeing the police in your ol’ lady’s Maserati SUV, which you end up totaling out under the freeway, is another crime.

Now, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the reckless evading charge that the fella, who totaled out his ol’ lady’s Maserati SUV, faces is a crime that requires either some jail or prison time and fines to be forgiven for.

More specifically, the fella will serve either six months in jail or 1 year in prison. He will also have to pay a fine that is between $1,000 and $10,000.

Being the comedians that they are, the California Highway Patrol (CHP) folks in Oakland facebook post reminded the fella that all that the legal system will do to him is nothing compared to what his ol’ lady will do after she sees that her Maserati SUV is gone: “Taking the term ‘flying home’ a bit too far…The driver is lucky to be alive. The owner of the Maserati…not so lucky.”

Yup, the fella committed the unforgivable crime of totaling out his ol’ lady’s Maserati SUV. Folks, y’all know it’s the truth! That SUV cost more than he does. Come to think of it, the Maserati Levante SUV 2021 cost $78,290. And I doubt very seriously that fella has $78,290 just lying around.

It is his ol’ lady’s car, which means he’s dating her. She’s not dating him. A woman who can afford a $78,290 automobile has many sailors on board to replace him with.

The good news for the fella is that he has his health. He has all of his limbs and all of his faculties that he had before he wrecked his woman’s car.

“It was a miracle he didn’t get more injuries because the whole area where his head would have been caved in. He must have ducked or something,” California Highway Patrol Spokesman Officer David Arias told the Associated Press.

The one thing that’s for sure is he’s the biggest fool in all of creation because now not only is he out of a car, money, and freedom but he’s more than likely lost the woman who provided him with at least two of those things.

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