Michael Cohen has less than two months of freedom left! Donald Trump’s former “fixer’s” decision to “fix” Trump’s mess by doing his “dirty deeds” has gotten Michael Cohen
a felony record and a three-year prison sentence that will begin on March 6, 2019.
Michael Cohen stood before federal Judge William Cawley and admitted to doing the one wrong that even the Good Book (Ninth Commandment) tells a soul not to do; which is to lie.
Michael Cohen got himself into hot water after he lied about the $130,000 payment he paid to porn star Stormy Daniels and the $150,000 payment he convinced American Media Inc (AMI) to pay former playmate Karen McDougal to hush up about what they allegedly “open up” to his former boss/client, Donald Trump.
The former self-proclaimed “fixer” did all of that lying because he knew the truth about Donald Trump paying a porn star and a former playmate more for sex than what a majority of Americans make in a year would have hindered Donald Trump’s chances of becoming the next president of the United States and Michael Cohen’s chances of becoming the White House chief of staff; which he never became.
All of that lying about Donald Trump and his sinful ways came around the time when the “Grab ‘Em By The Pussy” tape came out.
And y’all know that Donald Trump wouldn’t’ve been able to put a pinky toe on the White House lawn if the “Grab ‘Em By The Pussy” tape and him being an alleged high roller trick who allegedly pays porn stars and Playboy playmates’ for their treats had all came out during the “Trick ‘n’ Treat” month!
I can hear Wolf Blitzer now, “Happening right now folks, retailers say the Donald Trump Halloween inspired costume, High Roller Trick, is a big hit among adults and kids alike! They really like the variety of candy that the High Roller Trick costume helps them to get! Fascinating stuff!”
The folks over there at Donald Trump’s favorite network and TV show, Fox & Friends
, are haters, though. They don’t see the High Roller Trick Halloween costume as “fascination stuff.” The Fox & Friends
folks see the High Roller Trick Halloween costume as evidence that the Democrats and the “liberal” media hate America because they hate Donald Trump. Brian Kilmeade will be sitting there, leaning forward like he has to pee, fussing at everybody on the other side of the TV screen:
“Adults and kids alike say the Donald Trump inspired Halloween
High Roller Trick custom helps them to get all kinds of tricks ‘n’
treats, which I think is a good thing. What have we become?!
We’re Americans, for Christ sakes! First, we can’t say Merry
Christmas and now people can’t get tricks ‘n’ treats during
Halloween! I mean, come on! Enough already!”
Steve Doocy will then jump in with his two cents, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s just the politicization of everything we hold dear in America.”
As Doocy is talking, Kilmeade will be sitting there twisting and turning, just fuming red hot with anger about how the Dems are cracking on his BFF, Donald Trump:
"First presents, now candy. I mean, what’s next, Easter Eggs?! Jesus Christ! Just Sad!"
Doocy will then nod his head in agreement and say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
Over there at MSNBC, Joe Scarborough will be sitting there like a Cheshire cat cheesing from one ear to the other:
“You know, it’s good to hear that at least someone is making
money off of Donald Trump. I hear tell the Donald Trump inspired
Halloween costume, High Roller Trick…You know the one Willie?"
"Yeah, the one with the two women, what’s their names?"
Mika Brzezinski sighs. Joe Scarborough turns around and tells Mika to stop being a hater,
"Oh stop Mika, we’re all adults here." Mika hits her “Mommy” mode and begins to chastise Joe and all the other men folks on the show who are acting like horny teenage boys who’ve gotten their hands on their first porno magazine:
"Yeah, this here. This is what I’m talking about. This isn’t news!
This is smut! A presidential nominee of a major party has a
Halloween costume inspired by his need to pay for sex! This is
just utterly disgusting!"
Joe giggles and Willie suddenly realizes there’s another one,
"Stormy Daniels and who’s the other one? Karen McDougal I think."
Joe and Willie can’t stop laughing,
"Yeah, Karen McDougal!" Suddenly, a light bulb comes on Barnicle’s porch and he realizes that Joe and Willie have been talking about porn stars:
"The women can dress up as them?!"
Being who he is, ol’ Joe there sees this as the opportune time to ask ol’ Barnicle there if he’s ever watch porn:
"Barnicle, have you ever seen Stormy’s work?!" Barnicle just gives one of those guilty, hehehehe, laughs in response.
Mika has had it up to here with all of this porn star, trick ‘n’ trick, Halloween costume talk:
"Stop it! We will not have any of that here! Donald Trump’s poll numbers continue to drop."
Realizing what she just said, Mika shoots Joe one of those “you better not” look. Joe can’t resist, though, because he’s just a horny teenage boy in a grown man’s body: “Donald Trump’s poll drops!”
Donald Trump and Michael Cohen couldn’t have any of that going on like that there, no sir. Jokes are the light that shine on the real you.
And the one thing Donald Trump can’t have is more than enough folks seeing him as the joke that he is.
So ol’ Donald Trump got up, went to his Facebook page, and did what he does best which is to deflect by talking about what other folks have allegedly done wrong: “I’ve said some foolish things, but there’s a big difference between the words and actions of other people. Bill Clinton has actually abused women and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed, and intimidated his victims. We will discuss this more in the coming days. See you at the debate on Sunday.”
I think that was the debate where Donald Trmp followed Hillary Clinton around like an Ivy League frat boy follows a freshmen girl at a fraternity party.
Luckily for Donald Trump, the “po’ me, victim” game worked because it was overshadowed by James Comey being the biggest tool of an FBI director the country has ever had.
After James Comey tried inserting Anthony Weiner’s “weiner” into the Hillary Clinton Email Scandal in order to correct his (James Comey) mishandling of the investigation, James Comey unwittingly became the biggest and best tool the Russians had and used in their efforts to make a 70-year-old “trick” the 45th president of the United States.
Welp now, it’s all out there! Everybody knows about it because Michael Cohen decided to get religion and start telling, “nothing but the truth, the whole truth so help him God.”
Mind you, Michael Cohen didn’t get religion until after it became clear to him that he would never get that cushy White House chief of staff job he so desperately wanted, and when Donald Trump made it clear that he wasn’t paying any of Michael Cohen’s legal bills. Michael Cohen was like, “I’ma tell!” And then he went and told.
Michael Cohen told Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Michael Cohen told Federal Judge William Cawley. And I hear tell Michael Cohen’s telling the folks over in New York.
Michael Cohen is in a lot of trouble with the state of New York. The state of New York
is looking at charging Michael Cohen with felony tax fraud in relation to his now convicted, former business partner, “Tax King” Evgeny “Gene” Freidman.
Felony tax fraud plus Michael Cohen equals not good for Donald Trump. Michael Cohen knows this. That’s why he was putting on a show with all of those crocodile tears he was crying before the good judge.
They say Michael Cohen’s head was down, his shoulders were slumped, his voice was cracking, and tears were rolling down his face.
Michael Cohen fixed his lips to tell the good judge that he too is a victim of his former boss/client’s uncouth ways and that since day-one, Donald Trump has placed him in nothing but “personal and mental incarceration.”
Judge William Cawley didn’t pay any of that any never mind, though. The good judge just sat straight up in his chair, looked dead at Michael Cohen, and told him that he knew good ‘n’ well what he was doing when he was doing what he was doing when he was doing what he was doing when he was doing it: “He thrived on his access to wealth and powerful people, and he became one himself.”
It’s true. Michael Cohen did all of that lying because he thought his access to a wealthy and powerful man, President Donald Trump, would be enough for him to not answer for the lies he told to the American people and to Congress on behalf of a wealthy and powerful man name President Donald Trump.
Don’t get me wrong, now. The day will come when Donald Trump, Stormy Daniels, and Karen McDougal will all have to answer to the Man Upstairs about their sinful ways.
And yes folks, everybody in that lil’ triangle are fornicators who broke the Seventh Commandment; allegedly.
Donald Trump is a married man who whore hopped around with a then married woman, Stormy Daniels, allegedly.
Stormy Daniels was a married woman who whore hopped around with a married man, Donald Trump, allegedly.
And Karen McDougal whore hopped around with a married man, Donald Trump, allegedly.
The good news for the three lil’ “sinning whores” is that they may all sit back, chill out, and not worry about anything because ain’t nobody down here going to put them up under the jailhouse for whore hopping, allegedly.
The same can’t be said for Michael Cohen, though. His sin of lying has not only gotten him on God’s “bad” list, but it has gotten Michael Cohen into hot water with the man down here on Earth.
And the man down here on Earth has already let Michael Cohen know that lying is a crime that will costs him a hefty fine
($100,000) and prison time (3 years); which for Michael Cohen begins on March 6, 2019.