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AMC Theatres 'Welcome Back to the Movies';
AMC Theatres to moviegoers-Welcome
Back to the Movies

Saturday Night Live Simon Rex Dirt Nasty as Ernest in Ernest Saves Christmas

SNL Screen Shot Short Ass Movies Skit Simon Rex (Dirt Nasty)

SNL folks know that any movie that
is two hours or greater will not keep
behinds on the couch or eyeballs on
the TV screen
by Nathan'ette Burdine: May 6, 2022

The Saturday Night Live (SNL) folks know that the best way for streamers like Netflix and Hulu to make money is by showing short ass movies that will keep asses on the couch and eyeballs on the TV screen. Here's what Pete Davidson said:

    “These days, when I sit down and watch a movie, I can find just
     about anything in the world. But night after night, there’s only
     one kind of movie that I’m looking for. And that’s a short ass
     movie, a really short movie like at most an hour forty give me
     that short ass movie.”

Unlike long ass movies like the Titanic, short ass movies like Ernest Goes to School (89 min) runs during the time frame of a human’s attention span.

According to the SNL folks, anything below two hours is enough time to ensure that folks are laser focus in on the movie that is showing.

There is no chit catting! No one is asking questions about what’s going to happen next. There’s no falling asleep, or walking out! Movie watching, smacking on some chips ‘n’ dip and gulping down fruit punch spiked with Sprite and whatnot are the only things going on!

And those are all the things y’all Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, and other movie showing folks want going on. Y’all need those eyeballs on the TV screen so that y’all can sell all of those eyeballs data to the highest bidder.

Don’t get fussy! Don’t get fussy! That’s how y’all make y’all’s money! And if y’all wanna make more money, then just listen to what Pete Davidson, Chris Redd, and Simon Rex (Dirt Nasty) SNL are saying to ya’:

    “Three hours forty-seven minutes?! Bro, you must be crazy! No
     thanks! I’ma watch a short ass movie like Driving Miss Daisy (1hr
     39 min)."

    "Give me that short ass movie like Bambi. Got to be tiny but good
     like shrimp scampi."

    "A true thing of beauty is the three minute short before every Pixar

Remember, two hours or greater equals bad!

Saturday Night Live Short Ass Movie Skit Long Ass Movie Once Upon A Time in America

Anything below two hours equals good!

Saturday Night Live Short Ass Movie Skit Short Movie Pete Davidson and Rapper Gunna

Short ass movies keep asses on the couch, eyeballs on the TV screen, and a whole lot green in y’all movie making and showing folks’ bank accounts!


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