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 Entertainment Archive 2017

Stephen Colbert talks about DILFs and Russian hacking
by Nathan'ette Burdine: June 8, 2017

Stephen Colbert began the night talking about George and Amal Clooney. Clooney and his young attorney wife just had twins.

Good go twins!!! Good life, good life, good life! Yeah!

Clooney is a 56-year-old man who is trying to keep up with the Hollywood trend of older men marrying and impregnating younger women.

Or, what ol’ Colbert there likes to call the DILF (Dashing Intensely Liberal Father) club. The DILF’s club members include George Cloney, Steve Martin and some others.

Now, as important as the DILF club is, it wasn’t the most important topic of the night. That honor goes to Russian hackers and Donald Trump.

Colbert turned his attention towards the Russian hackers, Guccifer, who used fake emails in order to gain access to polling machines a couple of days before the election.

Colbert said about Guccifer’s use of time on their daily job, “Days Before?! Come on Guccifer that’s poor planning. You can’t leave your hacking to the last minute, put some thought into it. No one wants an election you picked up at Walgreens.”

And that’s true, no one wants an election to be treated the same as a scratch off Lottery ticket that you can get at Walgreens or the 7/11 down the street.

I can just hear folks now, “Oh, hand me that Play 3, Play 4, and that ballot over yonder.” Yeah, that just doesn’t look too good.

Being the good American patriot that he is, Colbert decided he would give his fellow Americans a little tip so they wouldn’t be tricked into opening an obviously tainted document that could possibly lead to the country electing a 70-year-old man with the impulses of a 7-year-old boy.

Colbert told his audience, “Here’s a little tip. If it looks like Google, but isn’t really, it’s either a hacker or Bing. Don’t open either. Just stay away from both of them.”

Cartoon Donald, of course, doesn’t see the problem. As he told Colbert about Russia’s interference, “I plead the Fifth…That’s what winners do. Hillary lost because she didn’t campaign in the swing states. Michigan, Wisconsin, Moscow, it’s a red state.”

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