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 News Archive 2019

The alligator is right to eat the naked man
on his back
by Nathan'ette Burdine: May 7, 2019

The alligator is right to eat the naked man on his back. Here Mr. Gator is just hanging out at his home trying to get himself some sun. Then low and behold he looks up and this naked and unafraid human jumps onto his back like a drunk cowboy trying to ride a dog in a rodeo.

Mr. Gator be like, “Wha-what the?! What’s that on my back?! Gatoria, come and get this homo sapien off me!”

There that human is cheesing from one ear to the other like a Cheshire cat talking about, “I got gator down!”

Just look at that. Look at it!

Naked Man on Alligator's Back;

That human has all of his “personals” hanging out there on that reptile’s back. That’s a crime in and of itself to be touching somebody with your body parts. Y’all wouldn’t want somebody sitting on y’all’s backs with all of his “stuff” that he uses to do his number ones and his number twos hanging out.

Ewww, the thought of it almost made me lose my nighttime snack. And let me tell y’all something, anybody who is nasty enough to go outside and let all of his “personals” hang out is somebody who doesn’t wipe properly.

I bet that nasty man begin scratching his itchy gluteus maximus on Mr. Gator while knowing good and well that Mr. Gator had just taken his salt water bath and was clean from snout to tail. And here this human comes using Mr. Gator back like it's Charmain.

So yeah, Mr. Gator has every right to use his God given natural instincts to attack that nasty human and send him on down to the devil’s kingdom where they'll give him the proper act right!

Nasty hu-man!

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