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 Politics Archive 2018

Trump woke up this morning with the not
so bright idea to meet with Putin again
by Nathan'ette Burdine: July 19, 2018

This is Satire. I don't know what Donald Trump was doing when he woke up this morning. The tweet is real though. Cheerios!

A “bright” idea woke Donald Trump up this morning! I mean the idea was so bright that his eyes shot open, his body sprung up, and the words jetted out of his mouth.

Donald Trump yelled out to the White House butler, “BRING ME THE IPHONE!”

The butler came a running with the iPhone on a gold Trump Tower plate.

In his crisp black, penguin butler uniform, with the white gloves on, and standing in a firm posture, the White House butler held out the gold plate with the iPhone resting a top and said, “The iPhone sir.”

“Tweet these words Jeffrey,” is what the 45th president of these great United States of America said to the White House butler.

But something was wrong. The phone wouldn’t come on. Come to find out, Stephen Miller had given the butler his phone.

    "Sir, I’m unable to access the features of the iPhone, sir."
    "What do mean you’re unable to access the features of the iPhone
    Are the features gone?!"
    "No sir, I’m unable to turn on the phone!"
    "Why didn’t you just say that then?! You had me sitting here,
    getting the sweats, worrying that D.C. Danny Boy Coats had taken
    away all of my apps! Is the phone on yet?! "

    "No sir!"
    "Why isn’t it on?!"
    "It’s Mr. Miller’s phone, sir."
    "Why do you have Stephen Miller’s phone?"
    "Director Coats ordered that all of your electronics be deposed of."
    "What the?! You tell Stephen Miller to get in here and turn on that
    phone! And don’t tell D.C. Danny Boy Coats that I have a new
    "Yes sir."

The White House butler went on and got Stephen Miller. Stephen Miller entered the room with a sunny shine, shine smile on his face.
    "Hey Mr. President, I have a fantastic idea about how to get back
    at the fake news media."
    "Tell it to me later, I need to get in that phone to tweet my bright
    "But Mr. President, my bright idea is your bright idea."
    "What are you saying? Are you planting thoughts in my head    
    there, Stephen?"
    "No Mr. President. I just know how you think."
    "Nobody knows how I think. Now, hand me that phone."

Donald Trump gets the phone and begins tweeting. The butler maintains his upper chin, shoulders back, firm posture; while Miller dances on his tippy toes and grins from one ear to ear to the other.

After typing the tweet, Donald John reads it out to them: "Listen up folks, The Summit with Russia was a great success except with the real enemy of the people, the Fake News Media. I look forward to our...”

Donald Trump stops and looks over at Stephen Miller who is still bouncing up and down like a kid on the playground.

    "Hey Stephen, stop that! You making me dizzy over here. You look
    like you have to go to the bathroom or something. As I was
    saying, ‘I look forward to our second meeting so that we can start
    implementing some of the many things discussed, including
    stopping terrorism, security for Israel, nuclear dot dot dot dot dot
    dot dot dot dot dot dot proliferation, cyber attacks, trade, Ukraine,
    Middle East peace, North Korea and more. There are many
    answers, some easy and some hard, to these problems dot dot dot
    but they can ALL be solved!’"
    "Magnificent sir."
    "I capitalized ALL for emphasis."
    "Magnificent sir."

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