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 News Archive 2018

We need a Cold Day
by Nathan'ette Burdine: April 5, 2018

I’ma just say it, “There needs to be a Cold Day.” It’s just been too cold to go outside to do anything.

The weather folks claim it’s 45 degrees. Yet, it feels like negative 5 degrees. You open the door and the cold air will knock you back off your feet.

Folks can’t go out and do in weather like that. And even if y’all put on all of those layers of clothes it won’t help because that cold will cut you right down to the bone.

Take my neighbor Ottis for example. The mailman had just come by and placed the mail in the box.

Ottis was going to get his mail but he didn’t make it pass the front step because the cold locked up his joints.

Mind you, Ottis is a healthy young 28-year-old man. His joints shouldn’t be locking up at all. But, that’s the point. It’s so cold outside that it’s a health hazard for healthy young folks.

And if healthy young folks can’t take the cold, then the ol’ folks can’t take it either. That’s why we need a Cold Day, a day whereby nobody has to go to work or school.

Just stay at home and warm up your bones. Hell, with all of this on-line business, folks can just do their work from home.

I called the boss man and told him, “Hey look, it’s too cold for me to go outside. That’s triple walking pneumonia weather right there.”

Good thing for me is that boss man agreed. He called me back and said, “I’m at home too. I’ll see you when the weather is better.”

The point is that it’s not natural for us humans to be walking around here with this skin in weather that the penguins wouldn’t even be caught in.

The penguins will be like, “Nah, we’ll just waddle ourselves back into this warm water.”

And that’s what y’all humans who are out that door need to do. Y’all need to waddle y’all selves back to y’all’s houses.

Go get y’all some hot chocolate, sit by the fireplace or turn your thermostat up to 90 degrees if you don’t have a fire place and warm up your bones.

Because if y’all keep going out there in that cold weather, y’all will end up getting arthritis or worse yet the triple walking pneumonia; which will cause y’all to miss more days from work than what you need to be missing.

So do the right thing and take a Cold Day.

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