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Under the Radar
Hahaha, take that
you aliens! MOXIE got
us humans breathable oxygen from Mars'
carbon dioxide rich atmosphere!
Totaled out Maserati SUV under a California freeway;
Man fleeing the police driving over 100 mph crashes girlfriend's Maserati SUV under
the freeway
Death has decided that 82 years is all Bernie Madoff will get in this life;
Death refused to let Bernie Madoff serve
out his 150-year prison sentence

Joni Keeney's Cousin Eddie Christmas Display ;

Joni Keeney's Cousin Eddie Christmas Display

You can’t call it a Cousin Eddie
Christmas display if the police
don’t stop by
by Nathan'ette Burdine: December 22, 2022

The one thing that is certain is that you can’t call yourself a true National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation fan if you haven’t put up a Cousin Eddie display that got the po’ po’ knocking at your door.

Joni Keeney , who lives over in the Dogwood Run suburbs in Shepherdsville, Kentucky, did just that. One morning, she got up, put some clothes on herself and a white robe and black socks on a mannequin.

Ms. Keeney placed the mannequin outside with a beer can in the left hand, a cigar in his mouth, and a hose in the right hand. She placed the mannequin next to a display of Aunt Bethany’s cat’s remains and the plate that Clark almost killed himself on.

Ms. Keeney also had one of her friendlier neighbor’s dog, a Rottweiler, to strike a pose as “Snots”.

The Grinch neighbor looked up and saw who she thought was a naked man outside. “Who is this man standing in his birthday suit outside her house and not mine?!” is what the neighbor most likely said. “I better call the police and tell them that there is a naked man standing outside her window.” The neighbor called the police. According to Chris Sutter over at WDRB, the neighbor said she didn’t like the fact that the naked man wasn’t representative of the “holiday spirit.”

The dispatcher listened to the neighbor and told the police, “We have a male standing outside. He is naked. He has a robe covering part of his body. He is exposing himself, and he has a hose between his legs.”

…I know what y’all are thinking, “hose between his legs.” Anybody who has seen a National Lampoon Christmas Vacation knows that hose was use to clean out the toilet. Y’all remember! “The shittier’s full,” is what Cousin Eddie told Clark’s uppity neighbor.

Fortunately for Ms. Keeney, the Shepherdsville police officers didn’t have “Grinch” hearts. They immediately saw that it was Cousin Eddie and that Ms. Keeney was just trying to bring joy to the suburbs. “Ummm…it’s goona be Uncle Eddie,” is what Sutter said the po’ po’ told the dispatcher. And it’s ok if the po’ po’ thinks that Cousin Eddie is Uncle Eddie because Cousin Eddie is Uncle Eddie to the chilrin.’

The point is Ms. Joni Keeney is a good person who was just trying to put a smile on everybody’s faces, this Christmas. Unbeknownst to that Grinch neighbor of hers, Ms. Joni Keeney managed to do just that. As Cousin Eddie would say, “It sure is swell and I’m glad you did it on my account!”

Merry Christmas, everyone, and have a Happy New Year!


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